My book is about a kid named Yonic Who finds out he has Element Powers.He is mental.Crazy.He also is bipolar.When he gets mad he turns to fire.when he gets scared he turns to water.and so on. read my prologue!(: what do you think??????
PROLOGUE:
MENTAL FATE
When I get mad it happens. When I get scared it happens. The moment I get excited or sad it happens. Even When I am calm it happens. I have been having a very hard time trying to control my emotions. My mom tells me I was born with a bipolar Disorder. To make it sound simple I change from one mood to another. One moment I’m mad and in an instant I turn into the happiest person in the world. But that’s not the worst part.
A Double date to the amusement park turned out to be the worst date of my life and much more. So I thought. The amusement park was deserted. The park rides were shut down because it was barely dawn. No other living or breathing thing to be seen, not counting the bugs surrounding me and the dark shadow confronting me. It was bearing the only reason I have to protect this world in its dark hands. The only reason I was living in it. The only reason that gave me power to ever control what was constructing inside me. It was caressing it like if it was his own. I felt my fists tighten, disgusted because he was holding it. I should have known it would come after my family. I thought I was always one step ahead of it but I thought wrong.
Standing at the top of the Ferris wheel I gazed at the dark figure ten feet ahead of me. Two Ferris wheel carts in-between us. Smirking his pointy teeth, because he knew I didn’t have any other choice, as if he had planned for this all along. None of us moving. One sudden movement would give me a chance to attack. Emotions inside me were getting out of control. I can see the different colors surrounding my body. Shifting from red, to blue, to green and so on like a color changing human light bulb.
The thing then looked up at me. It glared at me with dark eyes like a snake ready to attack a mongoose. It clasped the leg of what it was holding with his right hand and extended it to act like if he was going to drop it atop from the Ferris wheel.
“I have been waiting for this all my life” it snarled, “come and get him.” And to the extent of my imagination he let it go. Fury and anger swept through me. I saw the fire environed around my whole body as if I was caught on fire. In an instant I soared down to save my baby brother, knowing it would come after me. I was reaching out to grab him. I looked back and saw the dark shadow turn into an immense monstrosity of insects.My Book Is Called %26quot;Ele-Mental%26quot; Would You Buy My Book???Preview on the inside???You Will Not Be Dissapointed!?the element part is interesting, and the writing part is pretty good too, the only thing is, im not so comfortable with your description of bipolar. i get the feeling you have no actual experience with this condition and are just describing it by what you're heard/read, and it seems unrealistically stereotypical. i'd do some more research or talk to some people who have experience with it, so you can give a more accurate representation.
I like the rest of your story though and it sounds like it will be good. congrats on getting published! :)My Book Is Called %26quot;Ele-Mental%26quot; Would You Buy My Book???Preview on the inside???You Will Not Be Dissapointed!?if your getting that published im so buying your book its exciting and keeps the reader stuck on wanting to find out what happins next. good job!My Book Is Called %26quot;Ele-Mental%26quot; Would You Buy My Book???Preview on the inside???You Will Not Be Dissapointed!?Hey! That's great (:
If it gets published, I so want to read it, it really drew me in.If you are going to give him a mental illness then you should do some research to make sure the information you are passing on is accurate. Bipolar disorder is NOT about changing emotions quickly. A person with Bipolar disorder will be depressed for weeks or months or even years at a time....... then they will go to the other %26quot;pole%26quot; and be manic for weeks or months...... quickly changing emotions is just that... having emotions. On a subject as touchy as Bipolar you need to get your facts straight or don't use it....... my first thought while reading was %26quot;another misinformed person passing on misinformation%26quot;.......... then I lost interest....
