*****Would You Want To Read The Rest Of My Book With This Prologue? Bad/Good Opinions Please?

Its About My new novel Ele-Mental.My book is about a kid Who finds out he has Element Powers.He is mental.Crazy.He also has moodswings.When he gets mad he controls fire.when he gets scared he controls water.and so on. Its A book about a superhero with a not so super role. Anything I Should Include? Take Out? etc.?



-Prologue:

Mental Fate

The amusement park was deserted. The park rides were shut down because it was barely dawn. No other living or breathing thing to be seen, not counting the bugs surrounding me and the dark shadow just dazed in a trance It was bearing the only reasons I have to protect this world in its hands. The only reasons I was living in it. They were the reasons that gave me power to ever control what was creating inside me. It was caressing them like if they were his own. I felt my fists tighten, disgusted because he was holding them. I should have known it would come after my family. I thought I was always one step ahead of it but I was wrong.

Standing at the top of the Ferris wheel, I gazed at the dark figure ten feet ahead of me. Two Ferris wheel carts in-between us. It smirked, to show his pointy teeth, because he knew I didn’t have any other choice, as if he had planned for this all along. None of us were moving. One sudden movement would give me a chance to attack. Emotions inside me were getting out of control. I can see the different colors changing in my body. Shifting from red, to blue, to green and so on like a color changing human light bulb.

The thing then looked up at me. It glared at me with dark eyes like a cobra ready to attack a mongoose. It clasped the legs of my twin baby brothers. They were hanging upside down, one with his right hand and one with left hand. It extended them to act like if he was going to drop them atop from the Ferris wheel.

“I have been waiting for this all my life” it snarled, “come and get them.” And to the extent of my imagination he let them go.

Fury and anger swept through me. I saw the fire environed around my whole body as if I was caught on fire. In an instant I soared down to save my baby brothers, first the one that was closest to hitting the ground and then the other, knowing it would come after me. I was reaching out to grab Lyle before he hit the ground, I looked back and stared at the dark shadow that was turning into an immense monstrosity of insects.*****Would You Want To Read The Rest Of My Book With This Prologue? Bad/Good Opinions Please?Yeah

I like it.

It sounds really interesting and different.

You better keep writing

i want to know what happens

My only advice would be work on the writing quality alittle bit
*****Would You Want To Read The Rest Of My Book With This Prologue? Bad/Good Opinions Please?
Sub par writing with an uninspired plot. Reads like many generic, mediocre other books that aren't really worth the time.
*****Would You Want To Read The Rest Of My Book With This Prologue? Bad/Good Opinions Please?
that sounds really good i would totally buy that if u published it
This is pretty good. I'd probably read it, but there are a few things that were a little..eh..if you get my drift. When you were describing the %26quot;dark figure%26quot; you switched a lot between calling the figure it and he...I would suggest sticking with he. Also in the sentence %26quot;Shifting from red, to blue, to green and so on like a color changing human light bulb.%26quot; Using %26quot; and so on%26quot; is not the best thing. First off its a book, your suppose to use detail to take up space. And secondly the colors have emotions to them...you have to be more specific with them....I could see you writing another two sentences from that. Well this is my opinion but I hope it helps!!