Friday, 16 September 2011

Would You Please Tell Me If This Is A Good Start In My Book?

PROLOGUE:



MENTAL FATE











When I get mad it happens. When I get scared it happens. The moment I get excited or sad it happens. Even When I am calm it happens. I have been having a very hard time trying to control my emotions. My mom tells me I was born with a bipolar Disorder. To make it sound simple I change from one mood to another. One moment I’m mad and in an instant I turn into the happiest person in the world. But that’s not the worst part.



A Double date to the amusement park turned out to be the worst date of my life and much more. So I thought. The amusement park was deserted. The park rides were shut down because it was barely dawn. No other living or breathing thing to be seen, not counting the bugs surrounding me and the dark shadow confronting me. It was bearing the only reason I have to protect this world in its dark hands. The only reason I was living in it. The only reason that gave me power to ever control what was constructing inside me. It was caressing it like if it was his own. I felt my fists tighten, disgusted because he was holding it. I should have known it would come after my family. I thought I was always one step ahead of it but I thought wrong.



Standing at the top of the Ferris wheel I gazed at the dark figure ten feet ahead of me. Two Ferris wheel carts in-between us. Smirking his pointy teeth, because he knew I didn’t have any other choice, as if he had planned for this all along. None of us moving. One sudden movement would give me a chance to attack. Emotions inside me were getting out of control. I can see the different colors surrounding my body. Shifting from red, to blue, to green and so on like a color changing human light bulb.



The thing then looked up at me. It glared at me with dark eyes like a snake ready to attack a mongoose. It clasped the leg of what it was holding with his right hand and extended it to act like if he was going to drop it atop from the Ferris wheel.



“I have been waiting for this all my life” it snarled, “come and get him.” And to the extent of my imagination he let it go. Fury and anger swept through me. I saw the fire environed around my whole body as if I was caught on fire. In an instant I soared down to save my baby brother, knowing it would come after me. I was reaching out to grab him. I looked back and saw the dark shadow turn into an immense monstrosity.Would You Please Tell Me If This Is A Good Start In My Book?I am severely confused. So first it's about a boy who is bipolar. And then he's standing on top of a ferris wheel about to face a dark shadow to save his baby brother? Wtf?



EDIT:



Needs WAY more description..
Would You Please Tell Me If This Is A Good Start In My Book?
that is amazing :D

i really like it
Would You Please Tell Me If This Is A Good Start In My Book?
That is really good!
NO! I will not tell you. I can't read you picklelicker!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly...you should really expand your vocabulary. %26quot;Emotions inside me were getting out of control.%26quot; Really? That's as descriptive as it gets? Also, you clearly do not have a grasp on bipolar disorder. Everyone has changing moods--it's called being human. Why don't you do a little research on the subject before writing about it.
  • irish boy name
  • ie hosted control
  •